Not giving Up

I watched a movie the other day where someone proclaimed after he had had a trying time that he did not know just how exhausting having faith can be.  It made me laugh a little even though he was very serious.  I think I laughed because I could totally relate to that but had never thought about it in quite that way.  My antigen numbers have gone up over 300.  I still feel good and am riding my bike as much as I can.  I will be going to Utah for a couple of weeks as Stacy's baby is nearly due but when I return I will have a PET scan to determine if my numbers are a clear indication of tumor progression or not.  My nurse told me that she had a patient whose numbers kept going up but they discovered that was due to a cold she had. Sometimes the numbers are not an accurate indication of what is really happening.   If the PET scan shows tumor progression the Dr. wants to put me on the four heavy drugs I was on originally.  I cried when he told me that.  I will just have to wait and see.  Dell keeps asking me what I'm going to do and I just tell him I don't want to talk about it.  :)