Not giving Up

I watched a movie the other day where someone proclaimed after he had had a trying time that he did not know just how exhausting having faith can be.  It made me laugh a little even though he was very serious.  I think I laughed because I could totally relate to that but had never thought about it in quite that way.  My antigen numbers have gone up over 300.  I still feel good and am riding my bike as much as I can.  I will be going to Utah for a couple of weeks as Stacy's baby is nearly due but when I return I will have a PET scan to determine if my numbers are a clear indication of tumor progression or not.  My nurse told me that she had a patient whose numbers kept going up but they discovered that was due to a cold she had. Sometimes the numbers are not an accurate indication of what is really happening.   If the PET scan shows tumor progression the Dr. wants to put me on the four heavy drugs I was on originally.  I cried when he told me that.  I will just have to wait and see.  Dell keeps asking me what I'm going to do and I just tell him I don't want to talk about it.  :)

I've Been To Another Planet

Dell loves the 1984 movie The Last Starfighter  It was recently on TV.  I was on the phone with Jessica when I knew our favorite line from the movie was coming up.  I had to ask her to hold on for a minute so I could hear the line because I just think it is so funny.  The boy steps off the spaceship and sees his mom and says, "I've been to another planet ma."  Maybe it is how he says it but I just think it is funny.  I kind of feel like I have been to another planet because I recently had the opportunity to go to Hawaii. That line kept going through my mind while I was there. :):):)  It was kind of like being on another planet. :)  So beautiful.  Dell could not go so my friend Maxine volunteered to go with me.  We met my sister Janice and her husband there.  They initiated the whole adventure.  Just before the trip I had had some serious stomach issues but got them subdued enough to be able to go.  We had a wonderful time.  Dell and I lived there for a year and a half when we were first married.  It was great to go back and each day I felt a little better.  I came back to reality (cancer and chemo).  :(    I am doing pretty well.  I should get antigen numbers this week sometime.  The Dr. said to not be too upset if the numbers go up since I skipped treatments to travel.  We will see.  Life is good.  :)