Priesthood Power

In the Mormon faith we believe the power of the Priesthood, or authority to act in God's name,  is available to every worthy man.  That means that each home with a practicing husband and father has ready access to Priesthood blessings.  Though this might seem unfamiliar, unusual, or even controversial to some, we Mormons regard it as a priceless gift.  This means that I believe that my husband, son, and sons in law hold and exercise the Priesthood of God.  Their Priesthood lineage can be traced back to Joseph Smith who we believe received that authority from Heavenly messengers.  I have received countless blessings in my life and so many more in the last year.   I have been blessed that I would recover, that I would be restored to health and strength according to my faith, and even that I would maintain a healthy body until the "appointed" day.  One of my daughters was promised in a blessing to comfort her during this difficult time that there would be twists and turns and miracles ( there have been both ). We hope and pray for more miracles!  I realize that all prayers and blessings are according to my faith and the will of the Lord.

Recently Dell and I re-watched the film 17 Miracles.  That film is a true depiction of the Willie-Martin handcart companies comprised of approximately 980 Mormon pioneers from England, Scotland, Wales, and Scandinavia who left Nebraska in August of 1856, much too late in the season, to cross the plains to get to the Salt Lake Valley.  Ultimately about 767 of the 980 people in the two handcart companies survived the trek through hazardous winter conditions, and threats of rattlesnakes and wolves.  One of the 17 recorded miracles was the story of a mother, Elizabeth Cunningham, who was given a Priesthood blessing in Scotland, prior to leaving on the trek.  Elizabeth was promised in the blessing that all of her family would survive the trek and arrive safely in the Salt Lake Valley.  Along the trail she awoke one morning to find her young beautiful 12 year old daughter Betsy frozen on the ground.  The ground was so frozen solid that they could not dig as much as a shallow grave to lay her in.  They laid her frozen body on the ground and covered it with sage brush.  Brokenhearted they had to continue on.  As they sadly walked away the mother remembered the blessing she had been given prior to leaving on the trek.  She frantically called the family back and they began to warm and thaw out Betsy's body.  Betsy Cunningham was revived, made it to the Salt Lake Valley, and eventually had 13 children.  Her miraculous story has been passed on by family members and it can be found on ancestry.org.  The faith of a mother!   My faith is in the making.

www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid----Elizabeth Cunningham

Unexpected Kindness

During the past 13 months I have been the recipient of so much love, support, and good will.  I have received countless cards, flowers, texts, emails, prayers, food, gifts, an afghan, visits, quilts, phone calls, and more.  Today I was the recipient of a hand tied fleece blanket, offered to chemo patients from the church group of the new nurse practitioner.  Strangers to me, yet women filled with a desire to serve and bless others.  I myself have at times been the giver of such service.  I am now on the receiving end. It is touching and meaningful.  Bless you my family, friends, and unknown friends!!! You are loved and greatly appreciated.

Two Down

Two chemos down, not too sure how many to go this time.  I think it will depend on how I do.  These two drugs are less aggressive than the several I received on the last round.  So far I am doing much better on these than I did on the others.  I hope they will still do their job!  Nausea is really at a minimum and fatigue is there but doable.  I am more alert this time since we have the anti nausea meds worked out from before.  I am not as paranoid about germs but still trying to be careful.  My neuropathy has heightened.  I am praying that it will not increase more.  I am feeling much more alive than on the previous round.  I still have hair but it could begin to come out in clumps by next week.  Given the sad and untimely death of Alan Rickman to pancreatic cancer this past week,  I spent the unsleepable wee hours of the morning reading comments on one of the Facebook posts about him.  Comments were mostly about lost loved ones from the disease.  Many indicated a very quick passing from it and yet there were a few hopeful survivor stories.  I am very grateful to have survived this far and have much hope for a longer life.  Mortality is worth fighting for!

The Butterfly

I think we should fight for mortality.  Mortality is often a struggle but there is much to be learned.  It has its mighty purpose and we should fight for it.  I've been reading a lot.  A couple of books I've been reading are about Near Death Experiences.  All of these people's experiences vary somewhat but noteably they also have equal and very similar experiences.  Although the authors commentary does not always agree with the doctrine I believe in, the experiences people have had DO!  All of these people experience a life review including their mortal thoughts and behaviors.  This must be what Alma in the Book of Mormon calls "a bright recollection of all our guilt".  Almost all of the people I have read about, Christian and non Christian alike have met a spiritual being as they have crossed over.  A being so magnificent and full of light and love that the people had no desire to leave that light and love to return to mortality.  Many felt that was the "real" life and mortality was but a shadow.  Almost all agree this beautiful being of light and love was Jesus Christ.  This is so absolutely comforting and confirming to most of us and our faith, hope and scriptural beliefs. I love it, but I still want to fight.  I'm not ready.  There is so much more to learn and to do.

Another book I am reading is called "Embrace, Release, Heal", by Leigh Fortson.  I've never been too big on self-help books but this book is full of insight and great positive ideas for self healing.  Leigh herself after having gone through tremendous pain and cancer trials had an amazing experience when she was at a great low after her third cancer diagnosis.  Gripped with fear and doubt one day she came to a park bench, sat down, and crying she called upon God to help her.  When she opened her eyes she could see ethereal beings as far as the eye could see.  They were there standing and clapping, squatting in trees, and throwing their arms up in the air.  They told her she was supported and loved.  At that point she resolved that she was not alone in her journey to heal.  She made it and survived by following many protocols including eating raw foods and practicing mind-body positive thinking and talk among other things.  From her book she quoted someone named Richard Bach who said this, "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." And someone named Carlos Castaneda said, "We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same." Love it!

"Come What May........."

I went to chemo training last week.  I loved the new nurse practitioner, who didn't take much stock in natural remedies,  but told me she certainly did believe in miracles.  I love women of faith!  She told me that statistics prove that people who are prayed over,  whether they know they are being prayed for or not,  do better than people who are not prayed for at all.  I continue to be so very grateful for your prayers! She also told me that whatever choice I make regarding my treatment will always be, 100 percent of the time,  the right choice.  I loved her for that as well.   I will start two new chemo drugs on Tuesday.  I will most likely really lose my hair this time as opposed to it just getting quite thin last time.  Although I got used to wearing a wig from August through November, I find it a little depressing to go back to it since I just started enjoying my hair again.  Eyelashes are sad to lose as well. :(  (The things we take for granted:) Right?)  I am concerned about my neuropathy really getting a lot worse.   Oh well, remember Elder Wirthlin saying, "Come What May, and Love It!"  I'll do my best:):)

A Bump in the Road

I had my PET scan this week.  I thought that if I could make it through that test with no signs of tumor activity I would have hit a milestone.  (Six months with no treatment and the surgeon said that was as long as I would live without treatment.)  Since I have felt so good I didn't think my scan could be too bad but I was worried about it.  The scan showed no activity in the 2 tumors in the liver which really is great but the tumor in the pancreas and a lymph node outside of the pancreas showed a slight recurrence of activity.  My cancer antigen has increased from 54 to 90.  These results, of course, are disappointing.  The oncologist wants to put me back on chemo as soon as possible to "zap" it he says.  It would be different chemo with different side effects.  That is somewhat depressing as I look back on the previous 6 months of chemo as a dark and difficult time.  I told the oncologist I wanted some time to think and pray about it.  I will need to make a decision by Monday.  I will try to continue with my alternative remedies as much as I can (I truly believe the carrot juice and frankincense essential oil are responsible for my good health), although I will most likely regrettably choose the chemo.