Celebrating Love

I am still feeling very good.  We had a great time in Utah for Thanksgiving.  We spent an evening with my two sisters and my brother and their spouses.  It was a wonderful evening.  I saw all of my children, their spouses, and grandchildren, with the exception of Adrienne and her family.  That's quite ok though since I am with them now as we welcomed new little adorable Goldie into the world just last week.  Life is all about these wonderful relationships and loving one another.  We enjoy this love knowing that it will last forever because of the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice!  I am so grateful!  We rejoice in this incredible season as we celebrate His birth!  Merry Christmas to you all!

I'd Rather Have a Horse

I was at Woodmans the other day buying carrots.  As I was loading seven 5lb. bags into the car a woman who had parked behind me came around from the back of the car.  She saw all of the carrots and asked if I had a horse. :)  I briefly explained that I have cancer and that I juice 5 lbs of carrots every day.   I explained that if it doesn't save me I know that it at least helps me feel much stronger.  She sighed sympathetically and as she walked away I laughed and yelled, "I'd rather have a horse!"   :):)

Feeling Grateful

I have had such a great summer!  I am so grateful!  Things are still looking pretty good.  I had a CAT scan last week to check the size of the tumors in my pancreas and liver.  I got the results today.  Because the comparative scans (from June to now) can be from different angles the dimensions of the tumors are not showing the same, but the oncologists conclusion is that the tumors are either about the same or even smaller than the CAT scan in June showed.  It is great news that they have not grown!  My antigen numbers have gone up from a low of 49 to 52 (two weeks ago) to 54 (last week). The oncologist considers those numbers to be about the same and is not concerned with the increase.
I will have a PET scan to see if there is any activity in the tumors after Christmas.  I continue to be so blessed!

Joy Ride

I Will Stay the Course

After listening to and loving General Conference this week-end I came to realize that I have unknowingly been "ponderizing" a particular scripture for four months now.  At the end of May, at the time of  my last chemo, my four children sent me a special note.  At the top of the card was written this beautiful Book of Mormon scripture :

"For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children save it be according to their faith."

This notecard has sat on the kitchen table in front of my placemat for four months.  I have read it, pondered it, and cried over it many times.  On the other hand I have never thought too deeply about the scripture regarding faith, hope, and charity.  I attended a CES class once on that topic and found myself to be a little bored.  Times have changed.  I get it now.  I am beginning to see more clearly how faith leads to hope, and how vital hope is.  I am seeing more clearly how hope sees us through these difficult times!  I have come to appreciate "hope"!  Yes, we have hoped and prayed that our God, your God, the God of Heaven and Earth will grant us a miracle!  However, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego facing the fiery furnace,  I will say, "but if not.......", I will continue to have faith in that God of miracles, "but if not"......I will continue to stay true,  "but if not"........I will accept His will whatever it may be.  I will continue to have hope and  I will stay the course.

Enjoying Life

I worry that some who live far from me may get concerned that when I have not posted on my blog for awhile that I have physically gone downhill.  Not so.  I am still feeling very good and am just busy enjoying life.  I have had Stacy and her family here for several days and enjoyed their visit a lot.   I had a blood test last week and my cancer antigen has stayed at 49.  It didn't go up or down.  Frankly it upset me a little that it had not gone down but I am grateful also that it has not gone up.  They will check me again in mid October.  I have been riding my bike 10 miles up to 3 times a week since I have settled into being back at home.  I am so grateful for the strength to do that!  Thank you for checking up on me!

One Percent

I haven't looked it up but Dell tells me that there is a one percent chance of surviving stage four pancreatic cancer.  He has started calling me his one percent-er.  I hope!  My recent PET scan still shows no activity and my cancer antigen numbers have dropped another 7 points bringing my number down to 49.  I have learned that the Dr. is relying on the PET scan rather than the CAT scan (which only shows shapes and sizes) because it gives a much clearer picture of what is going on.  There will not be more treatments at this time because of those test results.  They will just monitor my blood at one month and again at 2 months with a Dr. visit.  Wahoo!  I feel free!!!  I will continue to take natural remedies including drinking the juice of five lbs. of carrots daily.  I may turn orange but that is ok with me. :)   Orange and very little hair.... CUTE !!!!!   :)  I will be back at Adrienne's for two more weeks and then home for a while I think.    Thank you so much for your continued prayers!!!!  Life is good!

Back and Forth

I have been in Utah for 2 weeks with family.  I tried some alternative treatments while there, saw a lot of loved ones, and visited some ancestral and family grave sites.  It was a great trip.  I am feeling pretty good and am back home for another pet scan and some blood work and then off to Jacksonville for a few days.  I will be back to see the oncologist at the end of next week and will find out the results of the scan and will  see what comes next.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity, Jig

I am back home.  I was dreading coming home from my month long visit with Adrienne because I had Dr. appts etc to go to when I got home.  It was great to be there but I had to come back to reality.   I had a mammogram on Monday which came back normal and was a relief because they thought they saw a nodule on the breast on the CAT scan.  The next day I saw the oncologist and I was anxious about that appt. because I was afraid he would send me right back to chemo.  The main reservation I have about doing chemo again is that the first six month round has left me with terrible neuropathy in my hands and legs and feet.  I am not sure if it will ever go away and certainly not if I do chemo again, but then my life seems to be at stake.  The odd thing is, is that my cancer antigen number has now gone down to 56 in the two months I have had without chemo.  Originally it was over 400.  I am doing a few alternative things but I am not sure if they are helping or not and then again the surgeon said the cancer had spread which is why he wouldn't do surgery.  My oncologist is not certain the CAT scan is showing things as they really are.  He wants me to wait another month, have another PET scan and then will decide between a certain kind of radiation or chemo.  He gave me a  prescription for the neuropathy.  We filled the prescription but after reading all of the side effects, I think I will hold off on that. A little scary I'd say.  I am happy to have another month without heavy drugs.  I am hanging in there!

I Plan to Fight

A few weeks ago (my last cancer antigen test) my cancer antigen---which I think is strictly a pancreatic cancer test and not super accurate--regardless, was down to 83.  We thought that was  fairly fantastic and then we got the devastating news  ( last blog) that the cancer had spread during chemo.  I will not give up the fight.    I am still at Adrienne's and feeling quite good.  She is doing better but still exhausted.  When I get home I have more tests and an oncologist appointment.  For now I will continue to live and enjoy life. :)

Low Blow

We saw the surgeon today.  It would seem this Dr. does not have good news for us usually.  hmmmm. This time was no different.  Dell and I were not expecting this news.  The CAT scan seemed to show much more than the PET scan.  I don't know why my oncologist did not tell us that when the PET scan shows no tumors it could be that they are still there just not growing very fast.  What we thought was a miracle turns out to be not quite so.  Maybe it is a miracle that the tumors are there but I have no real symptoms of the disease at this time.  The CT scan also showed that I have nodules all over my liver now.  They were probably undetected seeds before.  They can not do surgery because of that.   Presently they are almost in a benign state with very slow growth.  He wants me to do more chemo to try to kill the nodules so he can reconsider surgery.  More chemo would probably be in a month or two.  The way things are now surgery would most likely shorten my life if he tried it.  The chemo could prolong my life by maybe 2 years but the surgery after the nodules are gone could save me if the nodules go away with chemo.  I have to say he did not seem super hopeful this time around.  He thought it was good I currently have no symptoms and told me to go on living my life and try to stay positive.

I am at Adrienne's now and will be for almost a month I think.  She is home tonight from her fifth stay at the hospital and hopefully will be well enough to stay home this time.

More tests

Cat Scan is on Tues.  I don't see the surgeon until the following Monday.  I won't know anything until then.  Dell wants to leave the same day and take me to be with Adrienne to help her with Greta.  It all depends on what the surgeon says.

My sister sent the cute card I posted.  I loved it.  "I plan on living forever.......so far,  so good."

Cancer antigen is up 9 points.  :(

The Surgeons Office Says:

Apparently there could be cancer in the pancreas that does not show on the Pet Scan so I have to have a Cat Scan before I see the surgeon.  UGH!

Final Scan

The final Pet Scan results still show no sign of tumors.  :) Even though I have faith I am still amazed when I look at the scans.  I think my oncologist seems a little puzzled over it all.   I asked him if this was unusual and he didn't answer me. :)   Next I will see what the surgeon in Chicago says.

Pet Scan

Final (but probably not really) Pet Scan was yesterday.   We will get the results of that on Wed.  Stay tuned,

Family! Family! Family!!!!

Yes! Yesterday was my last day of Chemo, so to speak.  I am wearing the fanny pack full of chemo until tomorrow afternoon.   So technically speaking tomorrow afternoon will make it official with this last bag..  My sweet and wonderful kids were so excited and happy for me that they sent the balloons and the fun shirt which I showed off all day yesterday. :)  The Dr. and nurses loved it! I actually had been feeling  a little depressed knowing I still have the chemo  cycle for a couple of weeks with accumulating side effects.  They really lifted my spirits!!!!!   I have a Pet Scan in a couple of weeks and then I will consult with doctors whether or not I will have surgery so we will see what is in the summer future. Don't mistake me I truly am grateful this is the end! Hooray!  I have such a wonderful family!  I love you all so much!!!!!   Thank you all!!!!!!          And God bless Adrienne as
she goes through her struggles!

Last Chemo!!!

Count Your Blessings

My cancer antigen numbers stayed the same this time.  Although that is a little disappointing the nurse confirmed that those are really good numbers anyway. It is when the number goes up twice that you need to worry.   Everyone has cancer cells in them.  (Disturbing, I know) so we don't really know what my numbers were before it really started to grow.  We will take the good news.
 I feel a little badly about posting all my side effects when I know that
there are so many people out there suffering from so many different things.  One of my daughters is so sick and in the hospital for the fourth time, as we speak, due to her second pregnancy.  It breaks my heart.  I think she feels much worse than I do.  At least I can eat whether I can taste it or not.  She has taught me though that we don't compare.  We don't compare green grass to green grass and so we don't compare brown grass to brown grass either.  Food for thought.  I have another daughter whose entire family has had and is finally recovering from whooping cough and a son and family who had a nightmare vacation to Illinois including hitting a deer, totaling their van all while they had the stomach flu.  I have another daughter who has so far escaped the McNeil curse of 2015. :):):) We all have our issues, yes, some more serious than others but we all have our own adversity.  We all have to make it through our own troubles.  And we all have them, or at least will at sometime in our lives.  I think it might have been Neal A Maxwell who pointed out that some may not have adversity at the time so that they can be of service to those who do.  Oh how I have been the recipient of so much love and service.  I guess the point is to count our blessings and be so grateful for what we have regardless of our troubles.  The blessings usually outweigh the troubles.

Second to Last Chemo

Second to last Chemo. One down one to go!

Am I complanin' or explainin'?

Side Effects

I never thought I'd have a "comb over" :) I am very close and maybe it is already there and I just can't admit it. :) I am more like a little old man than I knew. :):)  I have one eye of eyelashes that is long and nice and one eye that is about 1/8th of an inch long and curly.  What is up with that?  It is very attractive. :)  Sometimes I have sticky stuff leak from my eyes.    My toes feel like hobbit toes (I assume their toes feel fat, spongy, and stingy-like :):)). (Thank you chemo induced neuropathy.)  Reaching in the fridge or freezer often requires gloves since effects of the sensation of cold is seriously heightened.  It is hard to explain really how my hands and mouth and tongue feel.  Sort of like my feet only not quite as hobbit-like I guess.  I lose my balance a lot but the Dr. says I just need more hydration to fix that.  Places on my skin have turned grey.  The Vietnamese girl who gave me a pedicure this week tried to scrub the discoloration off the bottom of my feet, thinking it was dirt ground in.  Luckily she spoke enough English so I could explain.  I have the discoloration even on parts of my face.  Age spots are part of the fun as well.  Thank goodness for make-up.   My sense of taste is distorted much of the time or I can't really taste at all. The nurse promised me the sense of taste issue is one side effect that will eventually permanently go away.  Others might as well.  Some of these things start to remedy themselves as the second non chemo week rolls around. Even the extreme fatigue lightens up a bit a few days before the next treatment. I have been so blessed  I suppose I should not be comp...., I mean explainin' so much. :)   I only have one more chemo after today and  then I can start to heal from these things.
 I think I need a good bike ride after that.  :):)

Do Talk to Strangers

Now that we are grownups I guess we can "talk to strangers".

People from all walks of life have incredible faith.  It never ceases to amaze me.  Dell loves to talk to strangers.  Me, not so much.  He loves to tell people about my tumors, usually when I'm not around.  He told a car rental lady in Minnesota and she immediately said "that's the Lord" and then she hugged him three times.  People do ask to hug you when you tell them the story.  He told a business owner at an upholstery shop and the man acknowledged that it is the Lord and proceeded to tell his own miraculous story.  Dell told a co-worker the story and she too immediately acknowledged the Lords hand and then hugged him also.  I told a lady at the health food store and she asked to hug me also and agreed the Lords hand had a part in it all.   I have more faith in the human race and their faith than ever before.
I love the faith they have in God.  Whoever their God is.  He is the Father of us all.  I am so grateful for Him and His plan for us.

Good Times

Dell took me to Lincoln Park Zoo this morning.  He pushed me around in a wheel chair.   There weren't many animals out but it was just a lovely morning to be out at the side of Lake Michigan and in the city.  We weren't there too long well (long enough for the City of Chicago to charge $30.. for parking)   and I got very tired (even though I wasn't the one pushing the wheel chair).  Anyway it was great...

Two chemo to go.... Three year old Greta prayed on her own "thank you mumsie can come back from chemo."  Sweet.  They all pray for me.  It is such a sweet blessing.
Cancer antigen 109.

Rambling

When I first met my oncologist Dr. Mohammad Raheem I liked him right away.  He is very kind and loving.  I can't remember what it was I said to him but he looked at me very sympathetically and said "but you're stage four....". That wasn't very encouraging after the surgeon in Chicago had given me some hope.  I sort of wonder what Dr. Raheem thinks now that he can not find tumors  on the last Pet Scan.  He is very quiet but last time Adrienne and Stacy were here,  and Stacy was the one with me in the room, this time he pulled up on the computer two black and white full body scans, one showing two tumors lit up and one he circled with his pen and said, "see, nothing here, and nothing here."   A nurse in my ward told me, Barbara, "this just doesn't happen!"  We know we have experienced a miracle.  We are amazed and grateful.  I know tumors could grow back  after Chemo but of course the miracle here gives me hope that they won't.

 I still find it unreal that I find myself sitting in a cancer center and receiving chemo.   It seems unreal (like it only happens to other people) but it isn't,  it is very real.

I know my Chemo side effects could be much worse so I am grateful that they are not. (Still, none are very fun) They say some side effects may never go away. I started to lose my sense of taste.  That one better come back!!!!! My hair has thinned quite a bit but I still have hair and hope I still do by the last treatment.  Chemo is cumulative.  It adds upon.  I pray it does not acccumulate too much more.  Only Three to go!!!  Can't wait to heal after it is all over!

Cancer Antigen down to 121.

The Rock

Dell is my rock.  I know I have said it before but I must say it again.  The things he does for me and just keeps doing, I can not even explain.  He is able to work from home 3 days a week .  It is such a blessing to me.  I am ever grateful.

Family is the best gift!!!

My sweet girls have gone home to be with their families.  How I do love them.  Matt and Erin and family are coming for a few days.  Looking forward!!!!

4 treatments to go!!!!!

Cancer antigens are down 9 points this week.  I wish for better but will take it.

lovin it

Stacy and Adrienne are here spending the week with me.  I"m loving it.

Living

This is a process,  I realize that now.  Through the last few months I have gone through a myriad of emotions.  Back and forth and back and forth.  There was a period of time when I kept falling into slumps of thinking about dying.  I would think about it way too much and about leaving my loved ones behind and breaking their hearts. I somehow felt I needed to "prepare" them.  Worrying about how Dell could get rid of all the "stuff" in the house and various assundry other issues that it did me no good at all to worry about.  Then one day a dear friend said these words to me.  "Now is not the time to worry about that.  If it ever gets to that point, then that will be the time.  Now is the time to think about living. "  Those words made all the difference to me.  From that day on I have only thought about living and healing and moving forward.  Thank you my dear friend,  Barb.  Sometimes it is just how it is said.

Two in a Row

Second week for church.  Not my best feeling Sunday but I made it.  I loved seeing so many of you and loved your hugs and well wishes.  Thank you!  I hope I did not seem rude to anyone I was just extremely tired.  It was great to be there.  All my love, Barbara

A Little More Progress

Looks like my cancer antigen numbers are down from the last count at 163 to 140.  Normal is about 1-50 so we are still not perfect in that area but the numbers are coming down!

The Windows of Heaven

As you know, on November 20th we received  some very unwelcome news.  We were at the University of Illinois Medical center.  They give you the news and then send you home.  The drive home was very hard, especially since we knew telling our children came next and that might be the hardest thing we had ever done.  It was hard.  Those phone calls were rough and tears more than flowed.  I sobbed as Dell passed on the news.  Days and weeks and months later came the fasting, blessings, prayers and love by so so many.  Thank you again to all of you.

At the beginning of December I had my first Pet Scan.  It is sort of like an MRI except they inject you with radioactive glucose.  You sit for an hour letting it get into the system before the scan.  Glucose goes directly to the tumors because they feed on sugar.  The radioactive glucose lights up the tumor sort of like a Christmas tree with little dots of light showing exactly where the tumor is.  Yesterday the Doctor showed us the Pet scan from December and the pancreas was definitely lit up as was the liver.  Next he scrolled down to the Pet scan I had on Monday.  We could see nothing lit up.  Nothing.  We take this as a miracle.  I will continue treatments until the end of May and then there will be another PET scan and they will assess whether or not surgery.  We feel so very blessed at this point and are so grateful for all of you who care and pray for us and love us.  Thank you again!!!!
With love,  Barbara

Yum

Pet Scan day.  Dietary restrictions.  Broccoli and Cottage Cheese for breakfast. YUM  Water the rest of the day YUM :(

I'm A Happy Camper

I made it to church today.  It was exhausting getting ready and getting there but I felt good.  I was worried about the emotional aspect of it but it was so good to be there.  Good to see the people, many of them, YOU, people.  It felt comfortable and familiar and just plain good.  It was longer than usual and by the end I sort of just wanted to lay down and take a nap  :) but I was glad I was there.   It broke another barrier for me and I will be back on the Sundays I feel well enough.

No One Fights Alone

Thank you to my wonderful children and grandchildren who participated in the REX-E-LEE-RUN at BYU yesterday in my behalf.  Those who were back here in Illinois had our hearts knit with theirs as they ran for me.  Thank you to you all.  We love you and appreciate your love and sacrifice.  Truly I am certainly not fighting alone and I am so grateful for that!

My sister Janice left today.  It is always to heart wrenching for me to see my loved ones go back home.  Thank you Janice for the great week.  We accomplished a lot and broke some of my barriers.

Always So Blessed

My sweet son has gone home to his darling family.  It brings me such comfort to have had those I love so deeply come and stay and lift my spirits.  My dear sister Janice is here this week since Dell is out of town again for a few days. We had a great day yesterday.  She convinced me that I could eat out at Chick Fil A.  Since I can't have fat due to the gall bladder not being able to come out yet it is hard to find things to eat.  I have lost 50 lbs since last summer when I first started dieting and then my eating had to be Dr. controlled with no fat.  I have only eaten out a couple of times and it has been a bit stressful for me.  Yesterday was the exception.  I had a salad and it was delicious.  It was a good day.  My sister will go to to chemo with me tomorrow on her birthday. What a great way to spend your birthday.  Thank you Janice.   This will be the first time Dell has missed chemo with me.

While Dell was on his way to Wisconsin on Monday he was nearly in a traffic accident.  The traffic in front of him stopped and the cars behind him were hit.  He thought they would ricochet into him.  He was so blessed that none of the cars hit him.  We are so very grateful for his safety and answers to prayers.  So many blessings.

Comfort

Dell is out of town for the week.  My son Matt is here with me.  He is a great comfort to me.  Thanks Matt.

Five Down Seven to Go

Just finished chemo #5.  That is almost half way. Yea!  They have given me another anti nausea pill
to make it through this week end.  We will see if I am not quite so sick this week-end.  My cancer antigen test started out in the beginning in the 400s.  Today it was 163.  Dell and I are thrilled about that although we try not to get our hopes up too high remembering that it is just one tool they use to chart you.  Sometimes the numbers fluctuate and go up.  Shortly after chemo #6 I will have a pet scan to see if the tumors are shrinking.  Every morning and night Dell rubs Frankincense essential oil on my feet.  It is supposed to be anti cancer.  We are also using a carrier oil called black cumin seed oil.  Black cumin is supposed to also be a cure all and cancer fighter.  The prophet Muhammad said that the black cumin seed was a cure all for all diseases except death.  Black cumin seeds were found in King Tuts tomb.  Apparent proof they don't bring you back from the dead. :)  But we are hoping they help the whole process in one way or another.  It's worth a try. :)

Adversity

The other night in our nighttime prayer Dell thanked the Lord for this adversity.  I think my jaw dropped as I was not quite sure I was on board with that statement.  It is true though, that I completely understood what he said next.  That was the fact that our love has deepened for each other  to a degree that is hard to even explain.  Our love and admiration for our children and who they have become (and the sacrifices they have made for us) has deepened in the same way.  Adversity does something to all of us.  Usually for the better.  I am still working on being grateful for this one though......I suppose it will come.

Sunshine

Today I am grateful for the sunshine.  It is a beautiful day.  Adrienne and I got out in the sunshine.  We took a field trip to Whole Foods and a side trip to Home Goods.  It felt really good.  I thought I was too tired and somewhat too nauseated but we did it!  Thank you Adrienne!!

"Chemo Count Down"

Adrienne made me a "Chemo Count Down" chart .  Today I will take off #4.  Hooray!  Each number comes with a scripture and little gift.  I love it!  Thank you Panda!

Field Trips

What do chemo patients do?  This somehow makes me curious since one tends to give up most of what keeps them busy in life. Sometimes I take field trips.  By that I mean, on nice, usually sunny days when I feel well enough I get out with my family.  We go to important places like Hobby Lobby, and Target. :) Usually I wait in the car.  That's why I most particularly like to go on sunny days.  Some times I actually get out of the car, go in the store, tell Dell what to buy and then head on back to the car.  There is something wrong with me that truly makes me think I might break if I leave the house or spend more than a few minutes in a store.  I think I might be psychologically distoibed.:):):)

Thank You

I am a little worried about something.  I can't tolerate one of my bags of chemo.  I have had serious side effects from it.  For those of you who are praying for me, and I think that is pretty much all of you I ask a special favor.  That is that you along with my family pray that eliminating this particular bag of chemo will have no adverse effect on the killing of the cancer cells and that other chemo will do the full job and that the Doctor will make the right decisions for my chemo.  There is power in prayer.  Thank you.  With love, Barbara

Team Mumsie

I'm starting to feel a little bit better right in time to do it all over again.  I have been hanging out with my girls and they have been a great joy to me.  Many of my family members including grandchildren will be participating in a run in March in my behalf.  They want to wear T shirts that say "Team Mumsie" and on the back say "Kiss My Pancreas".
They are the best.

Trade Off

Chemo week-end is never the best but having two of my daughters here this week has been wonderful.  So wonderful.

Encouraging

There is a particular blood test that indicates cancer and tumors .  My last test indicated almost half the numbers it originally was.  This is only one tool they use to make a determination how things are going but we feel somewhat encouraged at this early stage.  :) Plus,  today my bloodwork was an A+ the nurse told me.  And they took me off the anti nausea meds they think are causing my tremors.    Yea!

The Language of Love

A man by the name of Gary Chapman wrote a very informative book about the five languages of  love.  I have been the recipient of all five.  It is a great blessing to feel so loved and to recognize each act of kindness as one of the five languages of love. We are all different and express our love in different ways.  I have and continue to witness them all. Thanks to all who express  their love, however you express it, it is felt and appreciated:  Here they are, not listed in any specific order   1) Service  2) Quality Time Spent  3) Physical Touch  4) Giving of Gifts  5) Words of Affirmation.  Thanks to all for your various acts of love.

The Charmed Life

I had a conversation with a friend some months ago only to find the person I was asking about had undergone some devastating medical issues.  I was shocked.  This was the family with the "charmed" life. My friend and I both said  almost in complete unison that you think someone else has the charmed life and come to find out it was you all along who had the charmed life.  I think that gives us something to think about and certainly be grateful for.  Count your blessings, name them one by one.

The Mad Hatter and the Party Planner

Although I was still in the "chemo" fog we tried to make Stacy's 30th birthday fun for her while she was here.  Thank goodness for the "party planner" and her hubby who really pulled it all together.  Stacy crocheted me the most adorable hat for my birthday and told me she would make me a hat every month.  I think we all thought I would be hairless at this stage in the game. ( I still have my hair.)  Nevertheless we decided to give her a Mad Hatter birthday party.  Adrienne made it so fun by buying the cutest mad hatter hats for us to wear.  We did the best we could under the circumstances.  Hope it was good enough Stacy!  Glad you are now home safe with your family.  :)

Two Down Ten to Go

Not my best moment but loved ones are here to support and love me.  Grateful.

Slow but Sure

My Dr. in Chicago told me about one of his patients who ran marathons in between his chemo treatments.  I thought that sounded pretty "one of a kind".  I thought wouldn't it be great if I could
continue to ride my bike in between treatments.  Unfortunately it is 2 degrees outside with snow.  Not sure I have that kind of energy any way.  Yesterday after Maxine shared a great afternoon with me and I was feeling a little upbeat I decided to try my seldom (that's a stretch, like almost never) used stationary recumbent bike.  The batteries were burned out.....hmmm understandable.  Dell replaced those for me and today viola!  I rode!  Thirty minutes!  Granted it was so slow that a real bike could not have stayed in an upright position, but I did ride.  Now I have some new goals to set!  Yea!  I am a happy camper, or biker as the case may be.   :)

Let It Snow

I am doing pretty well and gearing up for the next treatment.   For me, right now, church is not in the cards, I do not feel I can risk getting the flu or a hearty cold.  Maybe when those epidemics die down I will feel that I can do a shortened Sunday.  I really wish they would let me "stream" in with my phone but apparently not.  Thank you for your love and concern.  Yesterday Dell and I managed to get all of Christmas down and put away .  I thought it might take until March but we did it!  It was great having it up while it lasted.  Next week end, weather permitting, two of my girls and 2 of my grandchildren will be here.  I am looking forward to that although it will be during the worst of times.....I guess that is why they will be here.   So looking forward to that.  Let it snow, I'm staying in :):):).