Rambling

When I first met my oncologist Dr. Mohammad Raheem I liked him right away.  He is very kind and loving.  I can't remember what it was I said to him but he looked at me very sympathetically and said "but you're stage four....". That wasn't very encouraging after the surgeon in Chicago had given me some hope.  I sort of wonder what Dr. Raheem thinks now that he can not find tumors  on the last Pet Scan.  He is very quiet but last time Adrienne and Stacy were here,  and Stacy was the one with me in the room, this time he pulled up on the computer two black and white full body scans, one showing two tumors lit up and one he circled with his pen and said, "see, nothing here, and nothing here."   A nurse in my ward told me, Barbara, "this just doesn't happen!"  We know we have experienced a miracle.  We are amazed and grateful.  I know tumors could grow back  after Chemo but of course the miracle here gives me hope that they won't.

 I still find it unreal that I find myself sitting in a cancer center and receiving chemo.   It seems unreal (like it only happens to other people) but it isn't,  it is very real.

I know my Chemo side effects could be much worse so I am grateful that they are not. (Still, none are very fun) They say some side effects may never go away. I started to lose my sense of taste.  That one better come back!!!!! My hair has thinned quite a bit but I still have hair and hope I still do by the last treatment.  Chemo is cumulative.  It adds upon.  I pray it does not acccumulate too much more.  Only Three to go!!!  Can't wait to heal after it is all over!

Cancer Antigen down to 121.