Heartbroken

Just in case you haven't heard, our wonderful mother passed away Saturday night.  She has fought a long, hard fight, and she did not want to leave us, but it was her time to go.  We are heartbroken and miss her already.  I keep wanting to tell her things, but she isn't there.  We hope that she has enjoyed a reunion with her parents that she has missed for so long.

We are extremely grateful for so much service and love rendered to her and us during these past 2 1/2 years--especially from that of our tender, loving dad.  We are comforted by the sweet love and prayers and thoughts from so many people, but especially, we are comforted by the knowledge that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, she is in the Lord's rest and that we will see her again one day.  Families are forever.  We love you, Mom.

A viewing will be held Friday, August 4 at 1:00-2:30, followed by the funeral at 3:00. Both will be held at the LDS church in Prestbury.  The address is
100 Hankes Rd.
Sugar Grove, IL

She will be buried in Bluffdale, UT on Wednesday, August 9. More details to come.

Here is the link to the funeral home and burial information:
http://www.dieterlememorialhome.com/tributes/Barbara-McNeil

Still Hanging in There

My mom just wants everybody to know that she's still hanging in there. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! <3

Tender Mercies

Apparently my kids were going to surprise me and come for Mother's Day.  Dell knew this but I did not.  Dell started thinking it would be best for us to go there so our kids were with their children for Mothers Day.  So we went.  It was an awfully hard trip for me.  It truly was wonderful regardless.  I saw all of my siblings, three of my children and their families.  Because the trip out was so hard on me I was given a blessing that our trip home would be more comfortable and easier.  After waiting in the freezing SLC airport for several hours and being wrapped in two blankets we boarded with the A list.  We headed straight for the back of the plane.  As we settled in the last row the steward told me that he had never seen anyone one board bundled up like that.  I told him I was usually cold and that I had cancer.  After that he was like a mother bear protecting her cub.   There was a least one empty seat on the plane.  We had one between us.  The steward said to sit apart and put something on that seat.  People just kept passing up other seats looking for the "best" spot I suppose.  Finally the steward stood up blocking the isle in front of me.  He said " there are no more empty seats back here folks. find another seat. " He was protecting us.  It was such a tender mercy.  I sort of felt it  was like he was waving his arms and saying, "These are not the droids you're looking for".  HA!  I thanked him over and over again.  We were blessed with a much more comfortable trip!

Quick Post

I keep thinking that I need to post something.  I am still here.  I am a little more tired and my eating is off track so I need to get back to the healthy things that are hard to eat   I am jaundiced and there is nothing really they can do about it.  I keep trying natural remedies.  I'm not sure if much is helping.  We just returned from the week end at Adrienne's.   I was boring and spent a lot of time resting but it was a fun trip and we loved it. We have a quick trip planned to Utah over Mother's Day.  I keep waking up so hopefully we'll make it :):):):)

A Tale of Two Doctors

I got the results of my PET scan this week.  It was not good news. It looks like the tumors have spread and blood work did not look good as well.  I have to admit I am more tired than I have let myself think that I am.  My kind sweet oncologist told me to prepare my family.  I have lived much longer than anticipated.  I let my family know.  I have been feeling at peace finally with this news.  This morning I was looking at my sad dried up indoor basil and mint plants.  I thought how tired I am of trying to keep things alive, including myself.  Then I went to the wellness institute this morning.......

I mentioned to one of the therapists that my disease had progressed while doing the wellness program.  When I went to see the doctor I could tell he already knew about things and I didn't have to tell him.  I see him in a large room where other patients are doing Oxygen therapy and waiting to see him.  He told me we were going to chat and then go to his private office.  (The therapist had apparently filled him in.)  He then ushered me away with many patients waiting to see him.  I think I was in his office for at least 20 minutes.  I knew others were waiting for him.  He said I am in crisis and need to change my focus. He said the switch to healing had been turned off but it can just as easily be turned back on.   He wants to see me come in next week with a smile on my face.  He has always said I need a purpose to live and the purpose can't be for me.  His purpose for me (which I loved and want to be my purpose for me) is this:  That I eventually want to leave my grandchildren with a legacy of "Victory and Freedom",  rather than, "grandma got sick and died".  I would love nothing more than to see their prayers for me answered!  I guess I need to gird up my loins, eat my avocados, refocus and try harder.  I asked, "but what if it is just my time to go"?  He kind of scoffed at that and said he did not believe that God EVER intended for us to die from disease.  He believes Jesus paid for our illnesses already, and of course I believe that as well but I never thought of it that way.   He believes  it takes a random act or old age for us to die at our appointed time.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around that but, ok,  I won't give up just yet. He reached out and held my hands and prayed for me.   To VICTORY and FREEDOM!!!!!

No News Is Good News (Most of the time) :):)

I am sorry for not updating sooner as some of you are probably wondering.  I am happy to report that I am very good.   We have been staying busy.  Dell had heel spur surgery and I have just concentrated on healing.  I am finished with most of my therapies at the Wellness Institute but still go for oxygen therapy and education twice a week.  I continue to take many nutritious supplements, drink my seed milk, eat my avocados (the hardest part), and drink my green juice.  I had a good chat with the doctor this week regarding my weight.  I never dreamed I would be worried about being too thin, but I am.  I was soooo afraid he would expect me to eat more avocados but gratefully he did not insist on that.  He did tell me I could add a few things to my menu to help add some calories.  Nothing yummy.  Supposedly your weight gets really low on this diet and then while still eating the same your body puts weight back on until it reaches your ideal weight.  I told him I was having a little trouble trusting that but hope it is true.  He said at a certain point we will work on putting muscle back on.  I think that I lost a lot of muscle with the DKA incident.  Right now we are still concentrating on healing.  Fingers crossed.  :)

I have not had any church service responsibilities for 2 years now.  Recently the bishop asked me to co-teach the adult Sunday School class.  It feels so good to be serving, studying, and preparing, again.
It helps me feel more normal and is very rewarding.  :):):)

Good News

I just keep doing better and better!  I saw my oncologist recently.  He is monitoring me.  That is about all he can do at this point but I am grateful for that.  On our way to his office I saw him in the hall speaking with someone.  He waved at me and told me I was looking good.  I wondered if he was surprised I was still alive.   :):)   Maybe he wasn't too surprised since he already knew that since my last chemo the end of September (and more importantly since I started at the Wellness Institute in November) my antigen numbers have come down more than 250 points!!!  I will have a PET scan in March to check out tumor activity.  My Dr. at the Wellness Institute was so impressed with my reduction in antigen numbers that he had me write up a "testimony" of my results. (http://www.totalhealthinstitute.com) I did that and then he asked that I be willing to be on video telling my story and giving thanks to God.  I did that and then found out that he had posted it on his website with others testimonies.   I feel very blessed.